Ok... I need serious help... my mom wants to send me to counselling with her because I refuse to talk to her about ANYTHING in my life. can you blame me?! I was a very very sick child adn she always ignored me cuz if she didnt my older sister, whose 4 years older than me would throw a hissy fit so she ignored me and since I was 6 years old till the time I was 12 and my sis moved out my mom let her beat me up every day and didnt do fuck all about it. and she wonders why I pushe her away, hate her and never tell her anything. why the hell should I. anyways this is a very stressing week. Finals and all, already thrown up blood 5 times and htey just started today! but as I started out saying. I need serious help.. I have cuts all over the back of my left wrist and I tried killing myself the other day by slitting my wrist then pouring salt on the wound... christ what the hell is wrong with me? I think I'm Psychotic or something. but yeah thats only half the problems. the other is that... I"m dating this guy... but I dont love him at all. I tell him I do and I used to think I did but I dont... I've never loved any of my bf's like that and it's kinda disheartening. I always start out thinking I love them then I get bored with them then I realize I never loved them to begin with. and it's scaring me... the only other person I can say I truly love (other than... well you know who you are.) is PJ. but I've known him since I was 13 and he's now 25 and I'm 17 and he says he sees me as a little sister but he still flirts and stuff and bah... I dont know what to do *cry* I need a hug..and someone to tell me what to do...